It's as clear as day who is willing to crash out and be a degenerate just to not face their feelings. Don't get me wrong, I get crashing out. Somehow the vitriol of one's feelings goes to the people who give them space to be themselves while they fake it with everyone else. Again, on the people pleasing tip, where we are actively hurting the ones who want the best for us to mask it for people who don't care.
It's easy to blame society. We have a world that's steadfast to give space, grace and even recognition to certain demographics that has shown they operate in violence, while another can't get a word out without someone crying alligator tears. It's ridiculous. It all starts in the home though. Home is where the heart is and unfortunately when that heart is in the hands of people who can't identify with their own, destruction is birthed. The guarded fence that supposed to verify your safety to be yourself is your opposition to be still, shut down and silent.
Justified anger. The inner teenager has been making her presence known. Young BRD who refused to be a reflection of the degenerates that raised her and though possibly unhealthy due to being misguided; willing to display softer emotions to reason with those she offended known or unknown. The space and grace were never offered regardless. Regardless of that though, angels are real.
My teachers and counselors. The beings I came across in those dreadful jobs letting me know that it's okay to feel how I feel not knowing anything of the situations I were in. The reminders from my mentors that I had to work with these feelings in order to keep myself warm. The warmth to remind my heart and mind that there was no doubt that I came to be right about most matters whether it hurt or healed.
So, if they ever tell you to put your feelings aside or to stiffen your response; I hope you always feel that warmth. It is a sign that you're more alive than they think.
Artwork by 46Designs